Self Confidence

It's something we all struggle with.   Girls with curly hair wish they had straight hair, girls with straight hair wish they had curly hair.  I'm too fat, I'm to skinny, the list goes on and on.   We are all our own worst critics.  I've struggled with it every day of my life.  Well, never the, "I'm too skinny" part.  I've never gotten the joy of being in that position.

We look in the mirror, and we tear ourselves apart little by little.  Our self confidence is gone by the time we walk away.  We look at other people we find beautiful and gorgeous and compare ourselves and then see all the ways we fall short.

When I was in 5th and 6th grade, my tormenters at school called me SFS "Short, Fat and Stubby."  I was the kid who only had a couple of friends, and we were all the outcasts.  My self esteem was very low.  My mom homeschooled me from 7th grade up, and I had a great youth group and friends that didn't pick on me every day.  I slimmed up some as I got through that awkward stage.  I started to feel better about myself.  Then.....

I was 18 years old, I got my first real job.   After a few weeks, I went in to work for the first time without makeup on my face.  I was dressed professionally, had my hair fixed, but I just didn't want to wear makeup that day.  I got to work, and my boss, a man in his 40's, told me to please go home and put makeup on and never come to work without it again.   I was crushed.  I cried all the way home.   I was relieved that no one was home when I got there.   I had a good cry, washed my face, put on my makeup and went back to work and never mentioned it again.   But, every single day since then, first thing to do is put my makeup on.  I became afraid to leave my house without it.    I felt ugly.   I felt like I only could be perceived as somewhat attractive if I had makeup on.  It defined me.  One man's stupid, thoughtless comment, had the power to completely destroy my self confidence at 18.  I mean if a 40 year old man couldn't stand to look at me without makeup, then I must be very unattractive.   I wouldn't even go to the store without makeup.    Honestly, the only time I left my house without makeup is if I was sick and going to the doctor or hospital.  I wouldn't dare let anyone take a picture of me without my face on!  This went on for years and years.  Until about a year ago actually!

No makeup, Just me!

Since I started my journey with Younique, I've been learning to stop tearing myself apart.  It helps that my skin care routine has changed and my rosacea  (another blog for another day) has practically gone away.  I now look in the mirror and find the good things about myself.   I have a beautiful smile.  I have pretty eyes.  I'm me!  I stopped wishing I could change things I have no control over.  I am just the way God made me, and I am beautiful.   I still wear makeup every day, but not because I feel I can't go without it.  I wear it because I love makeup, and I've found a brand that I'm passionate about. But, on that rare occasion when I am in a hurry,  I can now leave my house in a flash with no makeup and not be so self conscious about it.  I can post a picture of my face with no makeup on social media without caring what anyone thinks.  I'm learning to love myself just the way I am.

I know beauty is what's on the inside shining through.  I know that I have a beautiful heart and soul.  I also know the power of words.  Words can hurt.  Words can't be unsaid.  Even if they are apologized for, they are still remembered.   So, wether you're typing a comment to someone, or saying something  face to face, above all else, please be kind.  If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.  If we all spent a little more time spreading kindness, the world would be such a better place.   What you may think is constructive criticism, the person on the other end sees "you're ugly," "you're not good enough."  Why is your place to tell someone what YOU perceive to be wrong with them?  Do you know how it feels to be told "You would be so pretty if you would just lose weight?  Well, I do.  And it HURTS!  Why not just say you are so pretty and leave the IF out of it?  You don't have to SAY everything you THINK!  Stop tearing people down.  Lift them up! Help them see they are beautiful..Just the way they are!

I hope that today, you can go out and tell someone they are beautiful and mean it.  Help build self confidence instead of tearing it down!  Love others and make the world a better place!